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Arg stupid black dog, begone!

(I used the pic of the pug in the yellow hoodie as the image for this post because maybe if I think of the black dog like that instead of like a giant wolf, it won’t seem quite so bad and I can laugh at it instead? Hmm)

Ohhh boy feeling flat and down right now. Probably just tiredness. It’s the end of the school holidays almost but it hasn’t been a holiday for my team at work. If anything it’s been even more busy than usual as we had a Festival to run and other huge events coming up. I feel almost burned out, but there is no opportunity to have a proper break until the end of the year because Term 4 is nutso. Of course it will all be for naught if I do actually burn out, but I’m hoping that won’t happen!

I am having the next four days off. There is that.

But I know it’s getting bad because I’m starting to feel that tangible sadness surrounding me again. My brain tells me I’m hopeless. That I’m too fat. That I’m a failure at taking care of my health and my finances and my life in general. That I will never write again. That I am a hack, really.

But no! Not true! Life is good!

So I thought it was worth doing some gratituding so I can go into my long weekend feeling positive and not like I just want to hide in the back of the cupboard forever. Here are some things I’m grateful for:

Getting through the Festival
We ran the first Launceston Learning Festival over the past two days, and the journey to this point has felt mammoth. For me it included producing a seemingly neverending stream of collateral (including 2m long signs that went up along the main roads of Launceston, footpath stickers that were all over the city, posters, a website, DL cards, ID cards, t shirts, wristbands, stuff for social media), volunteering for two Saturdays at the Harvest Market so that we could have a stall to promote the event (as we weren’t selling produce, that was the deal), and then running around for the past two days trying to document the nine workshops, spread throughout the senior campus. But that’s nothing compared to the effort some have put in; I work with some amazing people, especially our events officer Zoë who made sure the thing ran so smoothly. But on this side of it, when I’m on the couch with a little Pedro Ximinez and my cat, it’s all been worth it. I’m so grateful for the amazing kids who came along and who accomplished some wonderful things over the last two days; many parents said the kids were so excited they couldn’t wait to come back. That’s the sign of a job well done I think.

Taking great photos
I’ve been getting lots of good feedback about my photography for the School lately, and am proud of the work I’m doing. I’m grateful that I have a good camera and a good eye even if I don’t have my head around all the technical details. I often feel nervous that someone will call me out because I don’t work fully manually with the camera settings, nor do I really want to most of the time. But I figure I get results that people respond to and that’s the point for this kind of work, isn’t it? Someone said to me the other day she really liked how I just captured something of the essence of the children and their perspective in my photos that many other people don’t manage to capture. I liked that.

You can see my most recent photos on the Festival Facebook page. I especially like the mountain bike ones.

Living surrounded by a beautiful garden
Looking out of the windows and seeing mostly green in all sorts of different shades and textures is a real balm for the soul. And nothing to be taken for granted.

Bunnies
There are lots of rabbits in my suburb, but not in our garden thankfully. I know they’re a pest. But they are so damn cute. I love when I go for a walk past empty lots with a bit of shaggy grass and you don’t see them at first, but suddenly there are these little flashes of white as their tails bounce away.

Being warm and safe and well-fed

Not having to get up early tomorrow

Having things to look forward to
Like having four days off, like playing flute with my girlfriends tomorrow, like going to the Tulip Festival for mum’s birthday on Saturday, like going to Melbourne with Rick and Dave to see theatre next weekend.

See? Life is good, isn’t it? I should just have a hot bath and go to bed. It’ll all seem better in the morning.