I have been hit with a particularly nasty and vigorous cold – it had struck down a friend whose place we went to for dinner the other night, and although he was much better that night, the cold germs were evidently just clinging on waiting for new hosts. Three of us who were there that night got sick and lost our voices. It’s like the tail end of winter just giving one last whack as it goes out the door.
It was bad timing too, as last weekend was the Big Weekend in my current juggling act. I was to go to a school event to photograph, then Sound of Music rehearsal, then soundcheck and performance at the Word Songwriting Showcase, which I’d been looking forward to for months. The weather was foul for the Fair, so I was spared having to stick around for that; I dropped the camera off to a colleague and scurried back into the warmth of my car after buying a delicious apple pie from the Apple Pie and Waffles Stall (how can you go past such a stall?). I sailed through the SOM rehearsal, lip-syncing all my parts, which was kind of fun – turns out you can concentrate a lot more on your acting when you’re not thinking about singing! And because I’d barely spoken/sung all day, Lachie and I did our song at the Showcase and it sounded great. There were some other really inspiring songs that night too, and it was a privilege to be part of it. Super keen to write more songs for next year.
Sunday was a lot of bed, another lip-synced rehearsal and church. It was really nice to just sit in the congregation and listen to the teaching and not be thinking about “what do I have to do next?”. This is the problem with being super involved in church services for a long stretch without a break, even if you don’t find it stressful in the moment – I find I’m just not able to take stuff in and focus as well. I feel like I’ve been busy at church for so many years, it is really good every now and again to just have a little chunk of time off to recalibrate. I found that at our last church too, that when I got overly busy and focused on the doing part of church, I actually got way off track spiritually and found myself doing things for all the wrong reasons. And making very unwise choices out of my skewed perspective. It’s not a good road to go down and I don’t want to get to that place again when I’m up the front encouraging people to worship and focus on God when my own life is totally messed up behind the scenes and I’m doing anything but focusing on God.
By Monday, though, the cold had decided that just losing my voice wasn’t enough and whacked me with the aches, pains, cough and blah. So I cancelled everything, stayed in bed and read the excellent Island magazine (I’ve tried reading a number of literary journals over the years, and none have ever really clicked with me until this one – just consistently interesting, good writing in a style that I like). Then I made some toast and rented Paddington 2 for 99c from the iTunes store. Oh, what a delight that movie is! It’s just perfect. Whimsical, sweet without being sappy, gorgeous characters, stunning animation and really excellent acting from a great cast. I do so love Hugh Grant as the villain.
Today I’m working from home because after having a shower I was coughing so much I had to lie down again. It’s really nice to be at home in the day again, working under a blanket with my cat beside me. It’s also good when the day is a bit grey and windy because it feels right to be rugged up inside.
Facebook reminded me today that it’s been two years since George and I set off in the green car and drove from Sydney to Launceston. It seems like aeons ago and yet not that long. It feels like mum and I have been living in our blue storybook house for decades and also not. Timey wimey stuff. I do so love living here, but part of me also feels like “is this real?”, as though it can’t possibly last. Maybe that’s my natural inclination towards anxiety. Maybe it’s partly healthy too, to hold things lightly because they’re really the stuff of moths and rust.
I’ve been writing my talk for the upcoming Women’s Breakfast and after tossing around a few themes I settled on gratitude (because of course), using my favourite passage Philippians 4:4-13 as my text. And it’s that thing of not thinking about “where am I going to end up?” or “how long has it been?” or “how long can this last?” but being grateful right now for the things we’ve been given, right now. At this moment. Not being anxious. But in all things, by petition and prayer, with thanksgiving talking to God about it. Finding contentment in Jesus. Having that peace that passes all understanding. I’ll probably post the talk here at some point, once it’s done.
Now I want cake. Hm. Clearly, this cold has not dampened my appetite.