…is that your brain never switches off. There are always things you could be doing, things you want to try, things you are inspired by. Most of the time I can keep that mental noise in check by doing a little bit of something most days.
The point when it becomes a problem is when you are sick and rendered immobile, like I was today. Your pounding head means you can’t do anything, and in fact is probably a signal from your body telling you that you shouldn’t do anything. And yet you have a full day where you don’t have to be working at your paid job, when you could be sewing, or taking photographs of your products to put online, or publicising your upcoming market, or doing some massage study, or…or…or…
And I did just stop, you’ll be pleased to know. I climbed onto the couch under my doona, in a patch of sun, and slept from about 10am to 5:30pm with brief awake period for lunch. But it’s hard not to feel like I’ve lost a day somewhere. Which is ridiculous because, well, I was sick.
For most people their not-at-work time is precious, but for those of us who have a really small cache of energy to draw on, it becomes even more precious. Rest is super important, or else I won’t be able to do anything, but I still need to squeeze in all those other things. Well I don’t need to. But the creative stuff is important to me and I need to make space for it, especially if one day I want to move my work life in that direction. So much of what I’m doing now is laying groundwork (like learning how to sell things online well, and like studying to get my Cert IV in massage, and like building up the Spire Market) and yet it doesn’t really fit. Does that mean I shouldn’t be doing it?
I guess the thing is to remember I’m not on a timetable. I don’t have to achieve anything by any particular time. I have to fulfil my responsibilities, but the rest can go slowly, and that’s okay.