At the moment I feel like the ball in a pinball machine. I don’t like it.
Dissatisfaction is a blessing and a curse I guess. It’s the feeling that drives me to get up and do something, like irritation causing an oyster to make a pearl, or pressure making diamonds.
Part of the problem though, is I am caught in the stage between idea and fruition, where I’m still planning and learning and having to get on with everyday life. I fear that all this irritation and pressure won’t produce pearls or diamonds; it will all just be glass and plastic.
I started this post in the hope that writing would help me clarify the muddle in my head, but when I try to latch on to an idea it just lurches away. I should probably just try to sleep again.